Before this memoir became a number-one New York Times bestseller that stayed on the list for more than eighty weeks, Jennette McCurdy had a hard time finding a publisher willing to put the title on a cover. That difficulty is worth mentioning up front, because it tells you something true about the book itself: it does not soften anything for the reader's comfort, starting with its own name. This review covers what the title controversy actually was, what critics and the 1.4 million-plus Goodreads raters actually said, and who this unflinching memoir is genuinely built for.
What the Book Actually Is
McCurdy, best known as a child star on Nickelodeon's iCarly and Sam & Cat, writes about growing up under her mother's control -- including being pushed into acting she didn't want, calorie restriction that fed into eating disorders, and forms of control that read, in McCurdy's own telling, as abuse rather than ordinary difficult parenting. The book covers her mother's death from cancer and McCurdy's complicated, ultimately relieving reaction to it, which gives the memoir its title.
About Jennette McCurdy and Why She Wrote This
McCurdy grew up in a low-income Mormon household in California, one of four children pushed by her mother into auditioning for acting roles from an early age. She landed the part of Sam Puckett on Nickelodeon's iCarly in 2007, reprised it on the spinoff Sam & Cat opposite Ariana Grande, and later starred on the Netflix series Between before walking away from acting entirely after her mother's death from breast cancer in 2013. In interviews, McCurdy has said the book grew out of personal essays she began writing after contributing to The Wall Street Journal; when her manager suggested she write a book, she first turned the material into a one-woman show, also titled I'm Glad My Mom Died, that she performed in Los Angeles and New York before adapting it into the memoir. She's described going through years of intensive therapy, including dialectical behavior therapy, before she was ready to write about her mother publicly, and has said the entire book was built around a single emotional arc -- her relationship with her mother -- with every other detail included only to serve that arc rather than to catalog her acting career for its own sake.
Why the Title Caused Real Hesitation
This isn't an exaggeration for marketing purposes -- McCurdy has spoken about how difficult it was to find a publisher willing to take on a book with this exact title, and early reaction from some readers centered specifically on discomfort with the premise, including concern from people worried about how their own children might write about them one day. Simon & Schuster ultimately published it as written, title intact.
What Critics and Readers Actually Said
The reception since publication has been overwhelmingly strong by any concrete measure: the book won the 2023 American Library Association Alex Award and the 2022 Goodreads Choice Award for Memoir & Autobiography, debuted at number one on the New York Times bestseller list, and has sold more than three million copies across more than thirty countries. That combination of critical and commercial validation for a book built around an intentionally provocative premise is unusual -- most publishers assume shock-value titles alienate as many readers as they attract.
Where Real Reviews Pushed Back
Even among broadly positive coverage, some readers found the book's use of humor around genuinely severe subject matter -- eating disorders, controlling behavior, exploitation -- to be a lot to sit with in one sitting, and a portion of the pre-publication conversation was less about the writing itself and more about whether the premise was appropriate to publish at all. That's a legitimate point of friction worth naming rather than glossing over, even for a book this acclaimed.
Inside the Structure: A Story Told in Reverse
The memoir opens not at the beginning but near the end -- a prologue set in a hospital room where McCurdy's mother is given forty-eight hours to live, and McCurdy and her three brothers each try to give their dying mother exciting life news. From there, the narrative spirals backward into childhood and moves forward again in roughly chronological order: early dreams of stardom fueled by her mother's ambition, the strict limitations and emotional control that came with early acting success, and the intensifying pressure once the iCarly role brought real fame. That structural choice -- opening with the death the title refers to, then making readers wait for the full story of how the family got there -- is what gives the book its shape, rather than a simple start-to-finish account of a career.
On Eating Disorders and a Mother's Control
A sustained thread through the book's middle chapters covers McCurdy's mother teaching her calorie restriction as a child, framed as a way to stay small enough for acting roles, which McCurdy has said fed directly into anorexia and later bulimia that persisted well into adulthood. The book doesn't treat this as backstory to the fame narrative -- it's presented as inseparable from it, since the same drive for control that pushed McCurdy toward auditions also shaped how her mother controlled her body. That throughline is part of why the memoir reads as being about an abusive relationship first and a Hollywood career second.
On Grief, Relief, and What Came After Her Mother's Death
The book's final chapters cover the specific tangle of relief and guilt McCurdy describes feeling after her mother's death in 2013, followed by a period where her addiction and disordered eating actually worsened before she found real footing in therapy. She's spoken about entering intensive treatment, including dialectical behavior therapy, in the years after her mother died, and has framed her decision to leave acting behind entirely as part of the same recovery -- not a separate career pivot, but a continuation of pulling her identity out from under her mother's control.
Key Takeaways
- The title reflects genuine, complicated relief rather than shock value -- McCurdy has said multiple publishers hesitated specifically because the sentiment was sincere, not a marketing hook
- The memoir is structured as a reverse chronology, opening at her mother's deathbed before circling back through childhood, which shapes how the story builds rather than simply recounting events in order
- McCurdy connects her eating disorders directly to calorie restriction her mother taught her as a child for acting purposes, not to pressures that emerged later in her career
- The book started as a one-woman stage show before it became a memoir, following years of intensive therapy McCurdy has said she needed before she could write about her mother publicly
- Her decision to leave acting after Between ended in 2016 is presented in the book as part of her recovery, not a separate professional choice
Who This Book Is Actually For
Readers who want an unflinching, specific memoir about child stardom, parental control, and eating disorders written with dark humor rather than either self-pity or forced positivity. It's also resonated strongly with readers processing their own complicated grief -- the exact discomfort some pre-publication critics worried about is what many readers say makes the book feel honest rather than performative.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
- Won both the 2023 ALA Alex Award and the 2022 Goodreads Choice Award for Memoir & Autobiography
- Extraordinarily high reader rating for a memoir -- 4.44 out of 5 across nearly 1.5 million Goodreads ratings
- Unflinching, specific writing about eating disorders and controlling parenting rather than vague generalities
- Genuinely funny in places despite the heavy subject matter, which many readers say makes it more bearable, not less serious
- Direct, propulsive prose that doesn't require any background knowledge of McCurdy's acting career
Cons:
- The subject matter -- eating disorders, controlling parenting, grief -- is genuinely heavy and not an easy read for everyone
- The title itself was, by design, a point of real hesitation for publishers and some early readers before the book proved its case
- Some readers may find the humor around traumatic material jarring depending on their own relationship to the topics covered
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the title just for shock value?
No -- the ambivalent relief McCurdy describes after her mother's death is the book's actual emotional throughline, not a marketing hook. Multiple publishers reportedly hesitated over the title specifically because it was meant sincerely, not ironically.
What's the actual Goodreads rating?
4.44 out of 5 from roughly 1.46 million ratings as of this writing -- an exceptionally high and exceptionally large rating pool for any memoir.
Do you need to know McCurdy's acting career to understand the book?
No. The iCarly and Sam & Cat context is explained within the book itself and isn't required background.
What awards has it won?
The 2023 American Library Association Alex Award and the 2022 Goodreads Choice Award for Memoir & Autobiography, alongside more than eighty weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.
Sources & Further Reading
- Goodreads -- I'm Glad My Mom Died (aggregate rating, reader reviews)
- American Library Association -- 2023 Alex Award
- Goodreads Choice Awards -- 2022 Memoir & Autobiography winner
- PositiveLifes.com — free inspirational and life-changing PDF books
Final Verdict
I'm Glad My Mom Died did exactly what its early skeptics worried it might not survive doing: it took an uncomfortable premise seriously, refused to soften it, and found an enormous, genuinely moved readership anyway. The award wins and the 4.44 rating across nearly 1.5 million ratings aren't outliers -- they're a real signal that the unflinching approach worked rather than backfired. If you can sit with heavy material told with dark humor rather than either self-pity or false uplift, this is one of the most direct memoirs published in recent years.
Buy Day rating: 9.3/10